Last month’s article, “A Young Man’s Nursing Home Journey,” resulted in many readers leaving comments and contacting me with their own stories. So many of you have had very heartfelt experiences in taking care of a loved one. They really touched me.
One lady, Jennifer, wrote and told me about her experience in taking care of her elderly father for several years. Her caregiving journey began when her father was in his late 80’s and was starting to become very forgetful. Since he was living alone, Jennifer worried that he might forget to turn off an appliance or do something that could cause a dangerous situation. To alleviate her concerns, she was able to convince him to move into her home, which fortunately was only a few blocks away.
Jennifer has been in the fine pottery import and export business for several decades. She imports vases, platters, plates, and other items from the Far East and then sells those products throughout the US. The items she receives every day are almost always packed in tons of bubble wrap insulation. A very large box can contain a very small item but wrapped in several layers of bubble wrap.
In the corner of Jennifer’s shop is a large bin where she places the bubble wrap and over time it has grown into a small mountain. Her intention is to reuse some of it, but mostly to dispose of it in an environmentally safe way as possible. This requires popping the bubbles, rolling up the deflated material, and then putting it in a specialized recycling bin. As Jennifer is a self-employed one-woman-show, this all takes time.
When Jennifer’s father first moved in, all he did was watch TV throughout the day. After several days of being glued to the tube, he meandered over to her shop to enjoy a different surrounding and spend time with his daughter. When Jennifer saw that he needed something to do, she asked him if he would pop the bubbles in the bubble wrap, and he gladly accepted this new task.
After showing him what to do, she gathered several large used sheets of the bubble wrap and off he went with a pen, popping all the bubbles. Jennifer was delighted to see how her father was suddenly so excited to be helping her.
So everyday for a few hours, Jennifer’s father came into the shop and popped bubbles. Then suddenly, after about one year, Jennifer’s father came in looking very glum.
Jennifer: “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”
Father: “No! I’m mad at you!”
Jennifer: “Why? What did I do wrong?”
Father: “How come you don’t pay me and why don’t I have a business card??”
Jennifer: “You’re right. I’m going to pay you all the back pay and I’ll also get you some business cards.”
Father; “Thanks a million! I love you.”
The following day, Jennifer showed her father a check for his work and told him that she would be giving him a check every week (she deposited the checks in his own account showing him the weekly balance). She also showed him his new business cards which had his name in big bold letters with the title, “Director of Bubble Wrap Popping.”
Jennifer’s father welled up with tears and she realized how important it was that even though her father was on the cognitive decline, he still wanted to be valued.
Hopefully, when we are all older and our world doesn’t make much sense to us anymore, there will be a “Jennifer” around us to still make our lives feel valuable.
Nancy Seiverd
CMI Credit Mediators, Inc.
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Image by freepik.com
